There is a juxtaposition in giving great financial advice: often, there is an objective 'right' answer to many financial planning questions… at least from a mathematical perspective. Yet the decision that best aligns with the client's real values is often less clear-cut. For example, there is an objective 'right' answer to whether to pay off a low-interest mortgage early or invest in the stock market, yet a client may prioritize being debt-free over the 'optimal' decision. For financial planners, the challenge lies in recognizing when clients need guidance versus when they need space to clarify what matters most to them. Advisors balance being the authority with being a facilitator, respecting the client's autonomy while also protecting them from avoidable missteps.
In this 183rd episode of Kitces & Carl, Michael Kitces and client communication expert Carl Richards discuss how advisors can walk the line between the advisor's personal opinion, the 'objective' answer (when there is one), and the client's values – especially when a client wants to make an 'inoptimal' decision. A planner's values can unintentionally influence client decisions. Even the presence of an expert in the room biases what clients say and how they process options. For example, issues such as debt repayment, funding education, or discretionary spending often elicit strong emotions and financial judgments from planners. One advisor may bristle at a client wanting to pay off a low-interest mortgage, seeing it as inefficient, while another empathizes deeply, having celebrated mortgage payoff milestones themselves. Every financial decision intersects with personal values, making it difficult for planners to remain truly neutral.
Financial planning decisions often do not have one objectively 'correct' answer (regardless of what the spreadsheet says!). Trade-offs – such as those between short-term experiences and long-term security – must be framed in ways that honor the client's goals and values, not just the planner's analytical framework. This is where coaching and planning intersect. Advisors can bring technical clarity and model outcomes, but must also develop the emotional and relational skills to help clients make decisions they can own. When clients ask, "What should I do?" the invitation is not necessarily to command, but to co-create clarity – ideally after deep exploration of their motivations, fears, and hopes.
Ultimately, financial planning exists in a hybrid space between coaching and technical expertise. They are guides who can – and sometimes must – offer strong recommendations, but only after the client feels fully seen and heard. The deeper responsibility lies in helping clients make well-informed, value-aligned decisions, not just efficient ones. Asking follow-up questions, illustrating the outcomes of various decisions, and helping clients dive deeply into the trade-offs are all crucial to helping them sound out the true consequences of their decisions. This approach not only fosters better outcomes but also strengthens the client's sense of ownership and agency. Advisors who can recognize their own biases and stay curious about their client's worldview are better positioned to offer advice that resonates and endures!




