When a good-fit prospect comes along, few things feel more discouraging than having them decline to move forward after a productive discovery meeting – not because of any dissatisfaction, but simply because they're not ready to leave their current advisor. These 'soft nos' can feel both frustrating and confusing for advisors, who may be left wondering what they missed – and how to move forward productively.
In this 173rd episode of Kitces & Carl, Michael Kitces and client communication expert Carl Richards explore how to handle the disappointment of a promising prospect who chooses to stay with their current advisor, and how these situations can still create opportunities to strengthen the relationship and improve the advisor's own process. While the initial "no" may sting, it also offers an opportunity to reflect, adjust, and position more effectively for the future.
As a starting point, advisors can respond with empathy and professionalism. Instead of pressing for another meeting or probing the prospect's decision, a simple note of gratitude – affirming the door remains open and offering to stay in touch with occasional, relevant insights – helps to preserve goodwill and shows, rather than tells, what responsiveness and value look like in action. From there, a strategic follow-up approach can involve subtly nurturing the relationship without becoming salesy or overbearing. This might include adding them to a tailored newsletter list (with permission), sending personalized commentary on market events or tax changes, or sharing content that directly reflects the prospect's stated concerns or holdings. Communication doesn't have to be frequent – once a quarter is more than enough. By steadily providing thoughtful value – without overselling or overwhelming – advisors can highlight the contrast between themselves and the incumbent advisor who may not be as engaged.
Beyond maintaining contact, these interactions can also serve as useful diagnostic tools for improving the advisor's prospecting process. If a prospect is hesitant to make a change, it may not reflect on the advisor's value proposition at all, but rather on the client's readiness. Asking upfront questions such as, "Have you worked with an advisor before? What was that relationship like?" or "How did you find your current advisor?" can uncover whether the individual has personal ties or long-standing loyalties that make leaving difficult. In some cases, advisors may even ease the transition by offering sample 'break-up' language the prospect can adapt, alleviating anxiety about the awkwardness of ending an established relationship.
Ultimately, a prospect's hesitation is rarely about price or technical expertise and more about readiness and the emotional challenge of transition. By responding to a prospect's "no" with patience, empathy, and a spirit of generosity, advisors can both preserve the relationship and reinforce their reputation as a responsive, values-driven professional – the very traits that prospects will recognize when they are truly ready for a change!